Who said men are brave? If there were a ranking for cowardice, half the world would take home a gold medal. They dress like they’re fearless, speak like philosophers of love, and act like heroes – but the truth is: every step they take outside is a mini-drama of fear and hypocrisy.
They can woo you with words, but every touch is a test of their own comfort. They’ll tell you they value your feelings while simultaneously deciding which filter to use on their Instagram post, because “real life is just too dangerous.”
Take them to a dinner that’s a little different? They tremble. Suggest a spontaneous weekend? Panic. Be honest with them? Disaster. Yet they still expect applause for every “tiny heroic” act – holding the door, making a phone call, even deciding which coffee to order – as if you’re witnessing the greatest miracle on Earth.
And still, these “heroes” expect you to bow because they survived the extreme ordeal of ordering a salad instead of pasta. They live in a world where every change of plans is a catastrophe, every bit of spontaneity is a nuclear threat, and every moment of your honesty is a potential war. Call them cowards? Too harsh. They prefer to be “careful,” “sensitive,” “emotionally mature”… while in reality, they are small, scared, and utterly ridiculous – like characters from a comedy written solely for you to laugh at every single step they take.
And the sweetest part? They believe they are incredibly romantic. The truth is: their romance is measured by the number of messages they didn’t send, the times they pretended to listen, and the length of their pauses while deciding whether to act. Every ounce of bravery is microscopic, every initiative comical. Yet applause is expected, because in their heads, they are heroes… and reality? Reality is our private stand-up show, with them as the star who can never escape the wrong role.
And in the end, when it’s all over, you sip your cocktail, smile, and think: “God, these people were made to entertain us.” Because there is nothing funnier than a man who pretends to be brave while actually being terrified of everything – from his own feelings to himself.