What does it mean to come back to yourself?
Coming back to yourself is like shedding every mask, every piece of clothing you put on to please the world, and being left with nothing but your bare soul. But it’s important to understand: this nakedness is not for others. It’s only for you. Only you look into the mirror, into this most genuine and vulnerable reflection.
Coming back to yourself means seeing every small, tender, even vulnerable part of yourself. Studying them carefully, accepting them – and above all – loving them. You don’t need to look like anyone else, nor compare yourself. You are you. Your uniqueness, your universe, your story. Only then do you begin to feel your true inner self – just as it was when your mother held you in her arms and you suckled at her breast, wrapped in her warmth and unconditional love.
I realized that finding yourself is like knowing who you are and where you’re going. Without pretenses, without masks, without letting other people’s voices drown out your own. To be in love with yourself. To accept yourself as you are – whole, complex, brave, and real.
I take everything as a game – a big show, a fun ride in a world full of hypocrisy and cynicism. While people search for their happiness in the small, close things – family, friends, home comfort – I sometimes get lost. And I always end up somewhere else, wandering tunnels and winding paths, without a clear direction.
I remember that scene from Alice in Wonderland –
Alice: “Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”
Cheshire Cat: “That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.”
Alice: “I don’t much care where.”
Cheshire Cat: “Then it doesn’t matter which way you go.”
Alice: “So long as I get somewhere.”
Cheshire Cat: “Oh, you’re sure to do that, if only you walk long enough.”
I do get somewhere, but not to myself. Because I still don’t have the direction. I still don’t know where I want to go. This confusion is both comical and painful, but without it, I wouldn’t write, I wouldn’t search, I wouldn’t try.
And in this searching, in this unclear path – maybe lies true freedom.